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Selling to Salespeople

Ironically, although I've probably written more stuff so far this year - and higher quality material, at that - than any previous year in my life, it has been ages since I last did anything related to submitting materials to publishers or agents.  Getting ready to do so now feels like I've gone back to work at a minimum wage retail job after working in an office for almost a decade.

Last Friday, I had it in my head that I was just going to set aside thirty minutes or so and send out a couple of query letters to some agents.  Then I actually sat down at my computer and realized that 1) I don't know any agents to send to, 2) I'm not sure what a good query letter should even look like anymore (though I had an idea what it would look like 10 years ago), and 3) I don't know how to sell things.

It's not a matter of the content of my book not being marketable.  It's possible that somebody in that racket might read it and say that it has no audience - I'm not really a salesperson, so I wouldn't know for sure.  Honestly, I think that a book about unemployment probably does have a built-in audience in an economy like this, but maybe that's just me.

It's more a matter of the fact that I'm not a concise person, and I'm also incredibly modest when it comes to my own work.  I have a hard time selling myself to potential readers.  Stephanie can attest to this - anytime I tell her about an idea I've had, I usually ramble on for a while as her eyes glaze over, and then I eventually just have to say, "Trust me, it's funnier when you read it."

Anyway, if anybody reading this happens to be a literary agent that's looking for new material to represent, here's a quick pitch:

Looking for a job sucks.  Julia Orokowski has to learn this the hard way.  Though she's always dreamed big, she won't get anywhere until she finds a place to work.  Unfortunately, the only places hiring are the stuff of nightmares:  subbing in an inner city middle school, writing sex chat to unsuspecting cyber-johns, manufacturing Truck Nutz, and more.  Will she ever find a proper career and start her Plan to Save America?