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The most shocking thing about "Sausage Party" (2016)... that it is as acclaimed as it is.  Not "top ten of the year" acclaimed, but comfortably in the 60% range on both Metacritic and IMDb.  Meanwhile, Ghostbusters got shit?


Listen, I don't want to be that fat asshole with a blog who finds fault with everything, and I don't mean anything I'm about to say as a personal attack on the creative staff, who are otherwise very funny, very talented people whose work has been consistently great.  But Sausage Party is easily the worst comedy I've seen since Hell and Back.

It has a garbage script, lazy characters, and dreadful animation.  It looks and sounds awful through and through.  It doesn't even have jokes in it - just seventh-grade shock humor that isn't even all that shocking considering we live in a world where "2 Girls 1 Cup" is now an outdated meme.  And it tries to dress up its laziness and lack of jokes with sixth-grade level philosophical discussion, which has tricked at least some high profile critics into thinking it's "subversive."

I hated this movie.  I would go so far as to say I Ebert-hated it.

If it was merely an exercise in shock humor, I could ignore it.  When the racial caricatures show up and jerk each other off, I'd shrug and say, "Well, I guess there's probably some fifteen year old bros out there who find this very entertaining.  They'll probably grow up some day and totally forget about this, and then they'll be embarrassed when their kids and grandkids find out they enjoyed it.  They'll try to hide it in the same corner of their memory where my generation keeps Newgrounds flash, Limp Bizkit, and Pogs."

But it's so much worse than that.  It's also an incredibly condescending meditation on belief, mortality, and identity.  Because it says anything at all about these things in the context of anthropomorphic douche jokes, it hopes it'll be one of those movies that "makes you think," as if you never have before.  The central conceit on the various food items' blind devotion to "the gods" and ensuing arguments over faith is the most superficial possible attack on religious devotion, followed-up by the most superficial possible South Park styled "I guess we have to work together" moralizing.  It's just one big, over-long straw man argument that can only be bought into by folks who very explicitly can't be "made to think."

Listen, if you really have this attitude toward religion and belief, then it's no wonder people in the Midwest hate "Hollyweird."  Nobody needs a bunch of rich assholes talking trash about manipulated masses of people who believe unquestioningly.  Faith is a personal choice that people make because they are aware of our world's unspeakable horrors, not willingly blind to them.  If you can't understand that, then you're a fucking asshole who shouldn't be making movies about religion.  And I say this as a hardline atheist.

Make a lazy, dumb shit movie about foods that finger each other's assholes if you want.  I don't care.  Just don't pretend that you've made art.  And if you're one of those folks who laughed at this lazy, dumb shit movie - that's totally fine.  You're allowed.  I laugh at dumb shit all the time and I won't begrudge anybody their right to find joy in abject nonsense.  Just don't pretend there's anything meaningful in the end product.

Sausage Party will not age well.  Not only does the animation already look fifteen years out of date, but it's filled to the brim with the same kind of doltish crudeness and "fuck you, I can say what I want without consequence" bullshit that got Trump elected.  Y'hear that Rogen?  You made the Donald Trump of comedies.  Thanks a pantload.

Ten years from now the Internet's going to be filled with think pieces on Sausage Party that hold it as a reflection on the downfall of Western civilization.  I won't say they're wrong, but that's only because I'll probably have forgotten all about it by then.  Good riddance.  I'd rather save that brain space for commercial jingles.